How to be literate
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How to be literate
Introduction
Are you a dummy trapped in a smartie?
If you thought I meant the candy, this article probably isn't for you.
If you thought I meant the candy, this article probably isn't for you.
Instructions
Difficulty: Easy
Steps
1
Step One
Wherever you live, read The New Yorker. These days, much of it is overwritten, unfunny and self-impressed, but it's a requisite. It's also home to the finest film critic alive--Anthony Lane.
2
Step Two
Read at least one book from the following authors: DeLillo, Bellow, Wallace, Nabokov, Gaddis, Pynchon, and Roth.
3
Step Three
Read the Rabbit books by John Updike. And then continue on to read every, single word the man has ever written.
No, really.
Every word.
No, really.
Every word.
4
Step Four
Talk about movies and why they're great--and why they suck. Figuring out why a movie was bad is the greatest way to figure out how your own brain works. If you can't explain why you hated it, you shouldn't even bring it up.
5
Step Five
If you haven't started life as a reader, try reading the Best American series for short stories. Stories are obviously less of a commitment than a novel, and it's a good way to ease yourself into the concept of words on a page.
6
Step Six
Read cookbooks. Namely cookbooks by Julia Child, David Rosengarten and Nigella Lawson. They're all thrillingly beautiful writers, and food is a subject everyone understands.
Overall Tips & Warnings
- When you venture into step 2, research the topics first. Don't force yourself into a genre you hate. For example--I will never like crap about swords, space or characters with pointy ears so therefore I'm simply not reading J.R.R. Tolkien. And I'm....ok with that.