How to Use Psychology at Home

Think about what your spouse, children and/or parents and siblings want from you and from each other. Usually the answer is simple: love, appreciation, comfort. Examine the current family dynamics and pinpoint whether everyone is getting what they need.

Put your own feelings aside as you examine the way your family members are experiencing their home life. This may be hard to do--as you start to wonder whether your sister feels loved, you might think defensively that she has not been loving to you. To use psychology at home, though, you must focus on her feelings without letting resentment take over.

Identify your role in the family dynamics. Decide whether you have demanded more attention than other family members--or allowed them to take the spotlight while you've quietly steamed over being ignored. Assess how important parental or spousal approval is to you and your other family members, and how much approval-seeking influences your behavior.

Improve the family dynamic by trying to satisfy your relatives' true needs. Negative, destructive behavior is a call for attention. Offer positive attention before the negative behavior ensues and perhaps you'll break the cycle. Whenever they behave positively, provide regular, non-critical approval to family members whose dysfunction seems due to being too eager to please.

Enroll in family counseling if necessary. Working with a trained family therapist can improve the family dynamics more quickly--and teach you more about family psychology.

Sign up for family psychology courses at your local university or through an online college to improve your knowledge of using psychology at home.