How to Celebrate St. Patty's Day!

Posted by Anonymous , 9/4/2007 Tags:CelebratePattyDay
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How to Celebrate St. Patty's Day!

Introduction

Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day, but before you order that Shamrock Shake, learn all the ways to be misty-eyed and magical at home, school and work. As the green machine, it is your job to remind others how this is done come March 17th.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You'll Need

  • A sense of humor
  • A creative spirit
  • "Tommy Boy" playing the background (kidding).

Steps

1

Step One

Get Your Green On
When you wake up, scrounge around the house for green items that you can wear. Anything that is kelly green says Irish-- especially tee-shirts-- but go sparingly with that color, otherwise things can turn ugly fast. There are green ties, hats, hairbands, and shamrock accessories. "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" pins tend to work well, especially at happy hour. Some people prefer to go lo-pro by wearing green socks. When someone asks, "Where is your green?" the wearer can slyly pull up a pant leg with an all-knowing smile and avoid being pinched (the traditional consequence for not wearing green).
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Step Two

Get Your Pint On
Did St. Patrick enjoy a drop of the "crayture"? (He was not Irish, by the way). In order for you to carry on the tradition, go to your local Irish pub and order any of the following drinks: green beer, Guinness stout, Irish whiskey, a Tom Collins, an Irish Car Bomb cocktail, or Bailey's Irish Cream (to sip).
If you are under 21 or abstaining, there is the tasty McDonald's Shamrock Shake or non-alcoholic Irish coffee from your local coffee shop. You could also go for a cup of tea. Tea bags were invented in 1904 by an Irishman in New York, afterall.
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Step Three

Irish Decorations
With no short supply of leaping leprechauns, shamrocks and green twinkle lights, you have this one under control. Note: Some cities go all out. The Chicago River and Indianaoplis Canal are dyed green by the cities to celebrate St. Patrick's Day.
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Step Four

School and Work Treats
Send your favorite little student to school with some homemade Irish Potatoes as a sweet treat for the classroom (there are no potatoes in the recipe). For the office, while observing step one, bring in some donuts with green sprinkles or green bagels, and do not forget the old mug you've been saving that has some "Happy St. Patrick's Day" message on it.
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Step Five

Attend a St. Patrick's Day Parade
New York has the biggest St. Patrick Day Parade in the world--yes, even bigger than Dublin's--but the very first was held in Boston in 1737. Folks go all out in Chicago and Philadelphia too, but the 4th largest St. Patrick's Day Parade is held in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
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Step Six

Green, But No Machine
If you had a rough day at the office, "Angela's Ashes," "The Quiet Man," "Leprechaun," "Gangs of New York," and "In the Name of the Father" are just a few of the many Irish flicks you could curl up on the couch to watch with the fam and a bowl of Lucky Charms. If nothing else, at least remember to call up your friends or send an email blast to wish them a happy and safe celebration.

Overall Tips & Warnings

  • Pinch someone (lightly) who is not wearing green.
  • Put an O', Mc or Mac in front of your last name for the day.
  • Read my other Irish articles to get more prepared.
  • Do not committ sexual harrassment by pinching someone in an inappropriate place!
  • Assign a designated driver, call a cab, or have a ride waiting to pick you up. Avoid driving on St. Patrick's Day (especially if you have had a drop) as there will be many a party-goer stumbling out into the street.

Photo/Video Credits

  • Image from www.CostumeDogs.com

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