How to clean your car keys.

Posted by Anonymous , 9/4/2007 Tags:cleancarkeys

Story Highlights

Introduction If you leave the house what is the one thing you take with you no matter where you go?

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Introduction

If you leave the house what is the one thing you take with you no matter where you go? Probably even more than your cell phone. Your Car Keys! That nasty mangled ring of jagged metal shards are the keys to your life! That sucks! Wash those weapons of entry Vectro242 style!

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You'll Need

  • Car Keys
  • Anti-Bacterial Dish Soap
  • Yellow Rubber Gloves
  • An old dish brush
  • Sink
  • Hot Water
  • Towel
  • Human Soul Shell
  • Functional arms
  • Thumbs
  • Brain
  • Bowl

Steps

1

Step One

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Take off any remote alarms and magnetic entry devices and set them in a bowl so as not to loose them. Place the bowl where you can see it.
2

Step Two

put on your yellow gloves. There used to be a sexy picture of a girl with yellow gloves on that had no nudity in it whatsoever but ehow made me take it down.
3

Step Three

fill the sink with hot water
4

Step Four

Put the dish soap on the brush using your gloved human limbs.
5

Step Five

Put your left thumb through the holder of metal life shards (keyring).
6

Step Six

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Scrub the nastiness out of your keys with the brush soap and water.
7

Step Seven

Dry them off with the towel.
8

Step Eight

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Throw towel in the trash.
9

Step Nine

reattach magnetic force entry and frequency expeller anti theft devices, Don't forget your Giant Eagle super shopper consumer multi billion dollar corporation save you a couple bucks on aspartame so you'll fill up your tank BAR CODE with your name and address attached for easy identification along with a picture of your car's liscense plate number and your credit card that you used to pay for all of that Fattening food so the health companies can focus drugs on you to control your ever needing more gadgets docile obedient worker mind flouride gulping big bonus discount card.

Overall Tips & Warnings

  • Scrub em good
  • That a boy!
  • Good job
  • There gettin shiny now
  • GREAT!
  • Dont be and idiot and loose yours keys down the drain
  • Dont let hot water get in the rubber glove and scald your multi-colored muscle protection organ holder wrap. (skin)
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