How to be literate

Posted by Anonymous , 9/4/2007 Tags:literate

Story Highlights

Introduction Are you a dummy trapped in a smartie? If you thought I meant the candy, this article

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Introduction

Are you a dummy trapped in a smartie?
If you thought I meant the candy, this article probably isn't for you.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Steps

1

Step One

Wherever you live, read The New Yorker. These days, much of it is overwritten, unfunny and self-impressed, but it's a requisite. It's also home to the finest film critic alive--Anthony Lane.
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Step Two

Read at least one book from the following authors: DeLillo, Bellow, Wallace, Nabokov, Gaddis, Pynchon, and Roth.
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Step Three

Click to enlarge
Read the Rabbit books by John Updike. And then continue on to read every, single word the man has ever written.
No, really.
Every word.
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Step Four

Talk about movies and why they're great--and why they suck. Figuring out why a movie was bad is the greatest way to figure out how your own brain works. If you can't explain why you hated it, you shouldn't even bring it up.
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Step Five

If you haven't started life as a reader, try reading the Best American series for short stories. Stories are obviously less of a commitment than a novel, and it's a good way to ease yourself into the concept of words on a page.
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Step Six

Read cookbooks. Namely cookbooks by Julia Child, David Rosengarten and Nigella Lawson. They're all thrillingly beautiful writers, and food is a subject everyone understands.

Overall Tips & Warnings

  • When you venture into step 2, research the topics first. Don't force yourself into a genre you hate. For example--I will never like crap about swords, space or characters with pointy ears so therefore I'm simply not reading J.R.R. Tolkien. And I'm....ok with that.
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